Football is back! Let us take a moment to reflect on the joys it brings.
- It is now acceptable to eat chili for breakfast, lunch, and dinner
- Adults can paint their faces and not look insane
- The high-five exchange rate reaches astronomical levels
- The celery that comes with hot wings can be considered your veggies for the day
- Calling a friend to exchange “Did you see when . . . . That was awesome!” stories
- Pointing at little men on your television screen and telling them to “Suck on that!” is now normal behavior
- Yelling “Watch the fake!”, as though you are actually helping
- Chest-bumps, or the much more comfortable and practical side-bump
- Sales of the letter D and short lengths of picket fence skyrocket
- Proclamations of being #1 can be validated or disproved
Enjoy the football season everyone! May your team be victorious . . . unless they are playing my team.